Winter Like the Season: Shop: H&M x Versace

So let me tell you a story about Versace. When I was a freshman in high school, 'luxury goods' did not mean what they mean now. In other words, they were affordable. Vuitton shoppers were just around $350, and I am not THAT old. Anyway, one of the very first e-commerce sites and the first luxury e-commerce site I used was called E-luxury (R.I.P). This site was amazing--the precursor of Net-a-Porter, with a focus on accessories. This site is where I bought my Dior zip tank that Carrie later wore on Sex in the City and it was where my brother bought me Dior Slap Bracelets (yes, slap bracelets) for my birthday. The very FIRST thing I purchased from this site, however, was a bright pink suede Versace belt, with a huge gold medusa buckle. Yes. It was over-the-top, slightly ostentatious, dare I say tacky? But in 1995, when I was 15---it was unbelievably amazing, and oh so very Versace.

The Versace we know today is Donatella's Versace-sleek, sheer, chiffon and jersey maxis filled with boobs,tans and black rimmed eyes. The Versace I knew growing up, however, was Gianni's Versace. Yes, there were boobs and tans, but the looks were more distinct--over-the-top patterns, leopard, zebra, neons, flowers and Linda Evangelista. Enter H&M. Always known for their collaborations, but not always pulling them off, Versace is the next big-name doing a line for the affordable chain even though Donatella said in 2008 that she wouldn't want to do one because it would dampen the luxury feel of her brand. Debuting on November 7 with a pop-up shop and launch party in NYC (of course not DC), the collection debuts across the country in stores on November 19. Will it be a hit? Here's the thing and let me get blunt and brutally honest with you. The stuff is not wearable. Or shall I say, it is not wearable unless you are a tall and skinny bitch who goes there---and I mean goes there---you have to wear the whole look, go complete, and completely over the top including hair, and black rimmed eyes (and please pair it with an expensive pair of shoes). If you are none of those things I just described (and that is cool, not judging here), then you run the risk of looking like a cast off from Jerseylicious. Not even Jersey Shore. Or perhaps a "True Life: I'm From Staten Island". Yikes.

Called the "Iconic Collection", it is clear the homage she pays to the Versace of her brother's time. For bringing back the memories, I say "Grazie!" But for the masses that will be walking around wearing these pieces mixed in with their buttonups, I already cringe.